Wizards… wizards… you don’t hear much about wizards.
These days it’s all glamorous celebrities or someone floating on a lotus.
There’s witches on TV, and you can get a necromancer for free!
but wizards… ah we’re good at not being paid much notice.
Any old card-reader can see your futures,
and a common doctor can fix your health.
Curses can be cast for a pittance, and a smiting done for a prayer,
and any half-wit book-keeper can conjure up some wealth.
But what if the continuum of time gets a hernia?
Or the goddess of causality loses her focus?
When the veils get thin, and something random slips in,
you’ll be glad for something stronger than just hocus pocus!
Yes it’s all fun and games with your oouiji board,
until someone opens a portal to a nether world substation;
and in steps a fire-demon from the hot hells of Chaos
ready to enslave you for a very long seven generations!
So; do you know how to manage a misanthropic monster?
Familiar with the inter-realm manners of a giant demonic lizard?
No… I didn’t think so, and don’t bother quoting “Harry Potter”
The only thing that’ll help you now is a genuinly qualified wizard
A gentle word and a wand can put anything back in balance, for instance
if the God of Time gets bored and awakens all your suppressed memories;
or you recite a dodgy mantra and grow a few extra arms;
or the naturopath misdoses and you wake up as a tree!
Then you’ll be grateful for the wizards you didn’t know where there,
disguised as cats or bats or the fellow who asks you for spare change
Do you remember the time when the goblins almost had you for dinner?
No, you don’t; and you can thank a wizard for that graceful rearrange.
Some places the dimensions don’t fit together so well
And it’s we wizards who stitch up reality so you folks can get some sleep.
Resolving temporal incongruities with a minimum of paradox
and guiding lost astral travellers home, like transdimensional sheep
So this All Hallows Eve please put your hand in your pocket
and say “even though i can’t remember, thanks for weilding the wand”.
Help support those of us who keep the Great Turtle serenely flying.
Please, donate generously, to the Wizard Benevolence Fund.